Wednesday, October 5, 2011

This is NOT a race

Every time I learn someone else i having a baby and even more so when I find out someone is having a second baby I tell myself "This is not a race."  I then remind myself of all the positives to waiting for  a baby- more financial security, a strong relationship with my husband, free time, maturity which comes with age and waiting.  I also then feel a little guilty - am I in turn saying that my friends/family are not financially stable, that they dont have strong marriages, that they wish they had more free time, and that  they are immature?  Am I saying I'm going to be a better parent or that I'm better then them?

I feel like I can't cope with waiting without either being self righteous or envious.  Neither of which feels good.

Tonight I found out on Facebook of all places that my cousin is having a second baby. (OK here I digress- WHY would you announce something like that on Facebook.... now granted she apparently e-mailed the family then ten minutes later posted on FB).  At least tell family/close friends first then plaster it all over facebook.  So why is she so special that she can have two babies while I still wait and wait and wait?  At least she didnt' say anything about the baby being the third great-grandbaby like my other cousin did when he announced the impending arrival of great-grandbaby #2- thats a little presumptuous to say that I couldn't have my baby before.  Now granted his wife had great-grandbaby #2 a few weeks ago while I continue to wait for my baby.

Have I mentioned recently that I sick of waiting?  I know this is not a race but as one year of waiting is two days away and my 30th birthday inches closer it makes this wait stink even more.

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