Monday, August 23, 2010

Interview 1- CHECK!

Dont worry about a thing...
Easy for our social worker to say! Today we were asked questions about our spiritual beliefs, our pets, what we did for fun, our typical routines, and vacations. Basically she learned we are boring (eat dinner, watch tv, go to bed), we don't go on vacations, our dog is nuts, and we dont agree on if there is a God or not.  She reviewed our financials a little.  We have since paid off DH's car and dont have debt with the exception of the house and student loans.  We dont have a lot in savings but we also dont have large amounts of debt either.

Homework before our final interview-

  • Read two books- I read 
    • "Nobody's Child"
    • "An Idiot's Guide to Adoption" (DH needs to read two books still)
  • Create an Emergency Contact list next to phone (We dont have a phone so we have to leave it on the fridge)
    • Neighbor's # (My aunt/uncle)
    • Identify an Emergency meeting place
    • Poison Control
    • Local police/fire dept
    • Pediatrician
    • I added (My parents, DH's parents, and both of our cell phones)
  • Complete preference sheet (what drugs, disabilities are acceptable)
  • Identify the company and the amount of our 401K/403B's
  • Make our home safe 
    • lock up guns (dont own any)
    • smoke detector (check)
    • carbon monoxide detector (check)
    • hand rails on all steps 
Individual Interviews
These are going to cover- History, Childhood, relationship with family/each other, high school, health reports, past/present drug use, etc.  My biggest worry is that DH and I are going to contradict each other.  Hopefully not on anything too big.

I left feeling even more nervous then I did going in but thats just my personality.  She informed us she felt good about the process so far and as long as we continued we would have no problems.  I have no big skeletons in my closet. 


This weekend DH's brother married his fiance of 2 years! We were able to tell him and his wife about our interview today in person and how we want them to complete a page in our dear birth mom book. As DH's family is significantly smaller then my family we also told his aunt and uncle about the impending interview. His other aunt and uncle already knew of the adoption as they have helped us learn about the process since they went through it themselves when they adopted their son 18 years ago. DH's uncle was so excited and bought him a beer.

Everyone knows someone-

Everyone knows someone who has gone through the adoption process then ended up pregnant. Our own minister had this very "problem" and has two children 6 months apart. Who am I to say this wont happen? If this were to happen it would be a little overwhelming but just as exciting as the process we are in now. DH thinks i'm being sensitive and taking it the wrong way. I interpret it as people saying "You may luck out and get a real child of your own." I'm really OK and excited about adopting... this child will be my real child as we will really be raising it from day 1, getting up in the middle of the night, nursing, and enjoying the happy tears, and wiping away the sad tears. I guess I have to get thicker skin or come up with a better response then "yes that could happen."

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Joys of the Process

DH and I are celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary this weekend and are doing so by staying at a B&B in NH in the shadows of Mount Washington. We will climb up the mountain together Saturday and cheat by taking the tram down. Its kind of a good metaphor of marriage and this process. The climb up is hard but the view is worth it and the ride after will be a breeze.

DH read my blog for the first time this past week and informed me that it was "depressing." I think its important though for me to write about the depressing, frustrating, scary, hard, unenjoyable, etc aspects of the process as once we arrive at the view and enjoy the ride after the memory of the trek to the goal will be easily forgotten. There will be joys (the day we got our appointment and finding a pediatrician) and those things will highlight in our mind looking back but there also were important struggles that are integral to the process.

I think another important aspect of this process is remembering to work together. I've been the detailed oriented person (making sure forms are filled out, filled out correctly, appointments made). DH has been grate at taking on tasks as well. DH talked to a trusted co-worker/friend about who they use as a pediatrician and took upon himself to call to make an appointment. The office called back tonight and asked him to call back during the day to set up a time for a "prenatal" visit.

I'm excited about this process... and I'm glad I have a good friend, partner, and confidant with me :)

Thursday, August 5, 2010

appointment set!

Our first appointment is August 23rd! Can't wait!