Monday, October 17, 2011


Eh well.  I wasn't exactly thinking.  DH had posted the other day that by passing the PT test we finally had all the adoption money and he got lots of likes but no real comments.  So I kinda figured people knew.  We have shared at work, with family and friends, and whenever anyone asks if we plan on having kids we share we are waiting.  Its not a secret but its not something I've discussed on facebook before.  So his lack of response made me think that the knowledge we were adopting had filtered through the networks.

So the other night I was looking at crib after crib on the internet.  One looked exactly the same as the other except price so I thought I have lots of friends that are moms.  My friends kids range from 14-0 so I thought I could ask for help.  Well apparently the filter through the networks only worked on DH's page because I was bombarded by posts and e-mails.  I think some people though it meant we had a match while others knew nothing about the adoption.

One e-mail in particular though jerked my chain:
hey congrats on your decision to adopt!
that's pretty cool
how did you guys arrive at this decision?

My response:
Thanks we have been waiting for a year now so no idea when s/he will arrive.  We wanted a family so here we are waiting!

REALLY?!  Would you ever email someone you just found out is pregnant and ask "What made you decide that?"  I think not.  I guess thats what I get for not thinking before I post.  On the bright side I got a lot of good information on where to look for cribs in the NH area near where my in-laws live as well as more positive comments to stupid ones.

I understand ignorance- you can't be blamed for what you dont know.  As well as lots has changed in adoption even since I was a kid.  Sometimes I'm sick of having to educate people on adoption friendly language and to bring to peoples attention when they are insensitive.  I just wish people thought before they spoke.  I dont think anyone ever had to be educated that saying to a pregnant lady "What made you decide to get knocked up? or WOW you have gained weight during your pregnancy" was rude.  How come it doesn't seem to cross peoples minds that asking: "what made you arrive at that decision?"  or "how much will your baby cost?" is rude as well.

So today I posted on my facebook status:
According to Wiki:
Ignorance is "is a state of being uninformed" while stupidity is "a lack of intelligence, understanding, reason, wit, or sense" So does someone go directly from ignorant to stupid if you try to inform but they still can't get it?

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