Saturday, January 21, 2012

My aching back

I've had trouble with my back for years.  One worry I have which I never have mentioned in my list of fears is that my back will interfere with my ability to parent.  There is not a position that my back doesn't hurt these days even with medication.

Yesterday I got a cortisone shot in my back which hopefully will allow me to get back to exercising and decrease my pain again.  If the shot doesnt' work they will likely operate.  I'm in a bind.  Part of me just wants to get the surgery done with so the pain goes away and part of me realizes the success rates of surgery and wants to stay as far away as possible.

I know that I have emotions tied into parenting and back pain.  My own mother injured her back when I was 11.  Her health became her fulltime job.  Responsibilities for my sisters and I quickly increased.  All active activities like camping and hiking as a family ceased.  My younger sister doesn't even recall our family doing those types of activities.

I realize how dramatic an injury can change a family.  I worry that I'll be that change.

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