These are the things that I would desperately love to tell our family
1) Please do not ask if I have heard anything because the answer is no but rather ask what progress I've made in getting ready or how I am holding up during my wait. I do desperately want to talk just not about updates because- there are none!
2) Please dont imply the possible health problems my child will have. Your child had many of the same risks. If we could know at birth which child would have autism, ADD, Learning Disabilities, genetic disorders, etc the medical profession would have it much easier.
3) Do not imply that contact with the birthparents of my child could be problematic to my child or my family. My child will be loved by many people and my child will be special because they will know how much they are loved by their birthparents.
4) Feel free to ask questions rather then asserting knowledge you do not have.
5) Do not tell me that I will understand things once I am a parent. It hurts. Primarily because I'd do anything to have a child right now but also because I work with children. I am sure I know many things about children's behavior that unless asked I would never undermine your parenting to tell you.
6) I do not visit or call because I dont want to be hurt.