KISSES IN THE WIND (The Waiting Child's Lullabye)
I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.
I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.
Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.
Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.
A friend of ours e-mailed me this lullaby yesterday. I tried to find it on YouTube or anywhere on the internet that gave a tune to the song. It was sweet of her to think of us and I think right about now I need a lullaby. My friends have really reached out to me this past month which has been helpful because I've been increasingly down recently.
I go through my ups and downs. Times where I feel like I finally am OK with waiting knowing that MY baby will come to me when s/he finally comes into this world. While other days I honestly can't imagine waiting another day or even another hour. I know it sounds dramatic but its true. I looked back again this month at last Septembers posts and at that point we were still going through the intrusion of the home study process. I felt naked and examined and was worried I might not be found fit to be a parent because we didn't make enough or our house wasn't clean enough. Now a year later we wait which I thought would be the easy part. I know once I have my baby in my arms it wont be so bad because I will know its MY baby but it doesn't make the wait any easier.
I think back to when we were house hunting and we felt like we would NEVER find a house but we did and now I'd be regretful if we lived in any of the other homes we looked at. Its easy in hind sight to say well seven months of house hunting wasn't so bad now was it? but I know I shed a tear or two of frustrated tears at the time.