Friday, September 16, 2011

Getting to Know you

I think one of the things I'm most fearful of is the getting to know my baby.  I have a friend that is expecting any day.  She has a bit of a personality already figured out.  How accurate it is or how much of it is imprinted on the child I dont know but after 9 months of pregnancy women talk about their babies prior to being born as if they know them.  Also research shows that babies hear their parents voices while in their mothers womb and are able to figure out who their parents are when they are born.

I will not have this advantage.  This baby is going to be as foreign as I will be to it.  I also will not likely have much warning prior to his or her arrival.  To top things off I have to admit the first 21 days while I wait for parental rights to legally terminate I will have this fear that it's not real.  My perfect adoption story is we get a phone call that a lovely couple or woman has chosen us for her baby due in 8 weeks.  We will meet her/them a few times and I will have greater confidence in her decision.

Adoption is a delicate relationship one in which great trust is being placed in DH and myself on the part of the birthmother.  It also requires great trust from DH and myself of the Birthmother that she will not break our hearts.  In the end I want an adoption in which all parties have what is best for them and although I know there will be heartbreak on the part of the birthparents (which selfishly will end our heartbreak) they will have enough faith and trust in us that they will be able complete the process.  In all this getting to know people I'm also fearful of offending the birth family in such a way that it terminates the process.

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