Monday, December 12, 2011

... and now I'm 30

I didn't sleep well last night.  I got an e-mail from the NE Milk Bank which informed me that as long as I had a prescription from a doctors I could order from them (good news right).  The area that I live in is very "pro" breastfeeding and if my pediatrician wasn't supportive I'd find one that was.  So here is the clincher- $4.50 PER OUNCE!!!  I think since we would have a prescription we could use our health savings account but assuming that a new born drinks 24 ounces of milk in a 24 hour period thats $108 per day, and $3240 per month!  So my plan is to breast feed but I have no idea how much I'll produce and since I had a breast reduction surgery about 10 years ago if they even "work."  The idea is that I'd hopefully only need one month but who knows.

I got an e-mail from Le Leche League as well yesterday which was semi positive.  She indicated she knew no one in the area that had induced lactation, and did not know anyone that had used any of the adaptive  breastfeeding techniques.  She did offer a 5 french gauge feeding tube that I could have which is a cheaper form of the at breast systems that you can purchase.  I had seen it during my research but was not sure of the gauge so that was helpful.  Essentially the feeding tube is a straw and each time they suck the milk is drawn into the tube.  She also invited me to the next group which since its during the work week in the middle of the day I don't know that I can go, on top of I dont know if I can watch a bunch of women breast feed.  She also said that she knew of women that shared milk informally but was unable to assist in establishing that connection.  Which I get.  

So I sobbed.  I think DH thought it was because of my impending birthday which I honestly think was a small part of it but really I just feel like the cards are stacked against us on top of I'm sick of waiting.  Anything we want or need that women who give birth just get naturally I have to fight for my baby to get or they just plain dont get.  Examples: biological baby insurance pays for all medical visits/ We have adoption fees LOTS of adoption fees; biological baby mothers can choose to breast feed/ I have to pay for medication out of pocket to induce lactation; biological mothers can choose to formula feed their babies/ I have no choice unless I want to pay 4.50 an OUNCE!; biological mothers (at my job) get paid maternity leave/I get unpaid maternity leave; biological mothers know their baby is theirs/I have to wait 21 days to make sure my baby stays; biological mothers get 9 mother to prepare/ I get an eternity.  Most of the above list really doesn't matter.  I want to be a parent, but I also like every mother want what is best for my baby and I strongly feel like breastfeeding is one of those things.  All I have to say is with all this effort I don't know how I'll handel the disappointment if this doesn't work.

So after I got all the crying out I googled "where to buy breast milk" guess what its legal!  For $1-2.50 an ounce you can buy breast milk from mothers who are over producing.  Will I do it?  I have no idea.  Honestly my plan is the day I get the phone call is to post on FB and ask people to ask people.  Am I crazy?  Yes probably but only crazy in a I want what is best for my baby sort of way.  So I didn't get to sleep until 11 PM so I was tired today.

That set me up for a bad day generally.  My work schedule was messed up (which it shouldn't have been because I posted my schedule last week Wednesday), I had to present to a bunch of med students (that literally were falling asleep), and then as I was about to leave the building I got a page (I was dumb and answered it) and it was someone asking me to come to the front office because the state wanted to ask me about a patient I had cared for.  Once I was home my day was much smoother but I've decided I will never work on my birthday ever again!! 

DH made me dinner, I took the dog for a walk, we watched Everything Must Go, I got my blender that I've been wanting forever, and I had cake.  So in the grand scheme of things 30 isn't bad.

Oh and I almost forgot to mention- I got my new drivers license.  When the lady asked me if I wanted a 2 or 4 year renewal I told her it depended on how good the picture was.  She promised 4 year quality and she delivered.  I am not ashamed to show my license anymore!!

1 comment:

  1. I have just recently heard of buying milk from other moms who are over producing. It is def. something I want to look into- we won't be able to afford buying it from the bank! Scary, but def. worth looking at I think.