I went to the OBGYN office for the first time in almost two years. The woman that I used to see no longer works in the practice so I was scheduled with someone new. It was strange to be back. The woman took me back skipping taking my weight and did a half hearted job at taking my blood pressure (lets just say I'm positive it wasn't accurate I work in health care but it was really just a formality). There is nothing like going into an OBGYN office to remind you of what never will happen for us. So she gave me the bathroom is here if you need it line (which she gave out of habit because women who are pregnant's bladders are always in need of a bathroom), she left the room, and I proceeded to burst into tears.
While we waited I convinced DH to talk about boy names w me. We had picked a boys name while we were on vacation in FL in April of 2009. Then about a year ago DH decided he didn't like it anymore and suggested a different name which I liked but didn't love. We couldn't agree on anything. I like names with optional nick names but have a formal full name i.e. Francis-Frank/Fran. DH seems to like names that are simple but you can't make into nick names or they are nick names in in of themselves i.e. he would pick Bob as a name rather then Robert. We just didn't agree, but it at least kept my mind busy and positive. **None of these names listed are options**
When the doctor finally came in she was helpful. I had all my questions answered and she seemed interested in helping us. She had the protocol in hand which I already had (You can find it here). She said she had used the protocol before however whenever she had done it she had used the short protocol and none of the women ever got a full supply. She recommended using less of the domperidone since I am not a large person. She suggested that we use the New England Milk Bank for milk for our babies first month as we wont likely have warning before the baby comes. She also suggested looking around for someone locally that might be willing to help us with milk for the first month. So I will try to get a prescription for the milk bank from the pediatrician's office. I also will contact LeLeche League to figure out resources in our area.
Monday the medication should come in and then we find out how much this is going to cost. I have no idea if insurance will cover it but honestly I dont really care.
Part of the protocol requires me to start on birth control pills which I have not taken in almost three years now. I think for DH starting back on BC is a reality check that adoption is our plan (I made him come with me and I'm glad I did). We have unexplained infertility, when we give our "profiles" to a doctor each and every one has said that doesn't make sense you should be able to get pregnant (she even freakin said that today). The thing is though there is "should" and then there is reality. There is nothing more we could have done- we tried stressing/charting, we tried "relaxing," we tried medication, we tried not trying, we tried acupuncture, we tried everything. Starting birthcontrol again though means we have 110% stopped trying. It is that important to me to breastfeed. Once our baby arrives I'll stop the birthcontrol to induce lactation and who knows maybe we will be "one of those couples" that everyone seems to know that once they adopt they get pregnant but i'm not holding my breath.
After the consult we went out to lunch. We agreed on a boy's name and shook on it (I should write up a contract and have him sign it). I also tried to get him to agree that I'd be willing to have baby #2 be a boy if he was willing to let me use the name I liked. That didn't work.