My mother told me about a book today about a woman that used IVF to conceive- one twin died and the other ended up in the NICU. She described how this woman was self centered in her desperation to have a baby.
Now we did not try IVF for many reasons but I can relate to that desperate feeling of wanting a baby. I think its human nature whenever you can't have something you want, the more driven you are to have it. We did not choose to use IVF for many reasons primarily ethical reasons. IVF frequently results in multiples and humans are not dogs that have litters of children. On top of the fact that my back could never survive multiples. The hormones that induce ovulation and the the procedures to retrieve the eggs I feel have not been researched enough and there was potential harm to me. IVF is not guaranteed to result in a pregnancy and honestly I could not continue the month after month disappointment. Lastly I find adoption more appealing then IVF- I in a strange way feel like I was meant to adopt. With that said I can understand that deep desire to have a biological baby and the use of IVF even though I've always been against it is right for some people.
I think that my mothers comment is the root of my current frustration. Not her specifically but her comment about this woman's self centered nature. This desire for a baby rules my thoughts daily. It may appear self centered to some but until you have been in my shoes please dont judge me. I wanted to tell my mom this but I dont think she realizes that all women that I have spoken to as well as read about that are/have experienced infertility can relate to this desperate need for a child. I'm not sure where it comes from but its universal. So in essence she was calling me self centered. So some might call it self centered but I call it desperate.