I was reading a comment made by someone about their unsupportive family during the waiting period of the adoption. I continue to struggle with my feelings about my in-laws and their lack of support during the waiting. Everyone said once the baby arrived they would be OK and its true, they love Baby Girl very much and she is their first granddaughter. The comment was "Where were you during my struggle." It clicked.
That is my question for them- "Where were you during my struggle?" While you were off belly aching that some of your grandchildren would not be biological I had arrived at a point where I was OK with not having biological children. Though I was rarely sad that I would never have biological children I was frequently anguished over the roller coaster of watching other families become complete, and wanting so desperately for MY baby to be in my arms. Your belly aching added to my stress and struggle. It was self centered and uncalled for. So rather then putting an arm around me and saying we are happy you have found peace in your decision you belly ached.
I know I was strong enough because I made it off the roller coaster though it still would have been easier had I had another set of hands to hold. I'm allowed to be upset with them, and I dont know that I'm required to get over it. I do have to make sure though that it doesn't affect baby girl. I dont want their belly aching to ever be something she is aware of. Their inability to come to terms with adoption at that time has nothing to do with her and all to do with me.