My husband started his Paternity leave at about 8PM last night. What a wild ride for his last day at work. Its been a long time since he has been ordered in over night. The incident occurred just blocks from our home. In some ways it gives me comfort to have DH working because I know he considers not only the safety of those that live in town but also specifically his families safety. I had planned on walking to get coffee and then go swimming with baby girl but because of the incident we drove the few blocks. I also feel that because he is an officer I have heightened fears about safety and with the introduction of Baby Girl to our lives this fear has escalated. I have a sense that our world is not safe and I've feared how I will keep her safe. I have greater knowledge then the average citizen about the goings on in our neighborhood. I texted with another cop's wife last night which gave me comfort that I'm not the only one that worries about the safety of our world as well as for the safety of our husbands. We live in a relatively safe area however crime still happens as we saw in NH recently a very safe area (where i went to grad school) the chief of police was shot along with other officers. The Chief was just days away from retirement and did not survive his injuries. It irks me that people often tell me how safe the area we live in is and how I shouldnt worry. They are right we dont live in Boston, NY, LA- but criminals dont care about the name of the city- they are not rational but rather focused on their next fix, escaping the law, or just plain stupid. How would I go on if something happened? I was a single parent for a day- but how would I cope with forever? How would I explain this to Baby Girl? I know DH does his best to be safe. Yesterday was a reminder that bad things happen on quiet streets. I'm glad he will be away from work for a while.
I start work again on Thursday. Since my schedule is now M-Th I will then have three days off. It will be a nice way to start back to work. Knowing that DH is home taking care of her will also give me ease of mind. In some ways I'm looking forward to going back to work- to the familiar. I love my residents and I'm looking forward to seeing them. There are a few I left at the start of their treatment and I'm excited to see how they are doing. There are also some that have passed away and will be missed. In some strange way I'm a little nervous like starting a new job. In a few short months things have moved on without me, and I've changed as well.