Asking for help isn't a bad thing. I tell my patients this all of the time. I encourage them to ask family and friends for things they can't do for themselves. I also encourage them to use a professional counselor when they are stressed out or overwhelmed by their situation. It's always hard for them but once they do they are grateful and realize that its harder to live without help then it was to ask for it.
So I'm finally willing to admit that I needed, need and will need help. It won't make me less of a mom and hopefully my baby will learn early that its ok to ask for help. Dealing with the emotions of infertility as well as the constant absence in our home hurts. I realize that external things cannot "fix" hurt and sadness. My biggest fear was that baby would arrive and I would be filled with do much hurt and sadness that I would not be the best mom. I also feared rejection on the part of my baby as if it would know that I was lacking in some profound way that prevented me from being a mom. So besides DH I for a few months have been meeting w a counselor. I wish I had asked for help sooner.
Now I just have to keep on asking for the help I need.