Friday, May 25, 2012

Some Things Never Change... but Life Goes On

This past weekend DH graduated with his Masters in Criminal Justice at Boston University. Its been a goal of his since we met and I'm so proud that he completed the program. It was so special to have Baby Girl at the graduation. She made the event a little more complicated (strollers, diapers, bottles, .......) but she also made his accomplishment all the more sweet. She was a VERY good baby for the many hours it took driving to Boston, the reception, the graduation, the trip back, etc. To have her there just felt perfect. DH actually graduated in December but the ceremony was last weekend. In December I was sad thinking that it took 18 months for him to complete the program and we didn't have a baby (essentially his program/approval all started around the same time). His completion was a reminder of how much time had elapsed and I still didn't have a baby to love. I realize her arrival sooner would have made his courses just a little harder but I know we could have done it. So to have her arrive with time to join us for his graduation was just perfect.

 DH's parents home is in NH not too far from Boston so we stayed with them. DH's mother does love baby girl. No doubt. She showers her with attention and gifts. Unfortunately though she can't shake the desire for a biological grand child. I was pleased that she wanted to know when we would reactivate our home study which says to me that she is more comfortable with adoption. THEN she asks me if I think the hormones I took for breast feeding would allow me to become pregnant. I want to SHOUT at her "REALLY LADY REALLY? Let me remind YOU that the ONLY test results that were potentially abnormal WERE YOUR SONS!!!!!!!! Remember the doctors think it was from an illness he had WHEN HE WAS A BABY!!!!!!" But I didn't. I do feel that she places the blame for us not being able to conceive on me. When the doctors suggested DH's childhood illness she did "research" and called us back to tell us it "wasn't possible." Well we dont know, we never will know the reason we can't conceive. But what is factual is we have been married five years this summer and never conceived. Between DH and I it doesn't matter because infertility affects a couple not an individual. To her it still matters and I let her bother me.  She also kept talking about our "mandatory" vacations to Philadelphia each year.  Really Lady?  *sigh*

 She also has told DH and me (on two different occasions) that her other son and daughter-in-law are trying. This is the reason we dont share so much with her. I have not mentioned anything to my SIL because she has not told me they are trying. Its private. It shouldn't be shared. Its just another reminder that my MIL just doesn't have boundaries and doesn't think!

 ...and I've been SO good about not venting about my MIL. Oh well.

1 comment:

  1. LOL. This past week, we were in IN visiting my husband's dad and step-mom. His dad asked me if we were going to start the adoption process again anytime soon. I said I wasn't sure, there are a lot of factors (mainly cost). I said I'm running and trying to lose weight and hoping that maybe with me losing weight, I can get pregnant (one can pray right??). With that he said, "Oh good. I'd really love a biological grandchild."

    Now I know he loves Gus and sees him as his grandchild, but it made me step back and wonder, would he treat a biological child differently than Gus???


    Inlaws are absolutely crazy.