So to start I wanted an open adoption which is where my struggle is. I want that relationship to continue. I also am going to say that I struggle writing this post because I do respect baby girls birth mother as well as all birth parents. I feel like my feelings on this specific situation are hard to articulate in part because I want to protect baby girls story. I've also said from the start that I want what is best for my child. My baby girls birth parents are not in a position to parent and lifestyle choices may put my baby at risk. I am struggling. Bmom has my cell phone # and has continued to text me with some frequency. I think its early to put strickt limits on texting contact however I feel like my life is intruded upon without notice with a request for an update. Our written agreement included letters/pictures 4x per year and a yearly visit. I've have already started our first letter/pictures and plan to be faithful to that agreement. Some of my discomfort with the continued contact I think stem from the fact that I didn't exactly feel comfortable sharing my cell phone # and is strongly discouraged by our home agency (but not the agency in PA) however it also provided me with notice before the bparents would visit providing me opportunity to prepare myself. I'm going to give it time to see if the frequency of the texts level out before I ask for things to change. I struggle with putting an end to texts all together because I DO want the communication lines to be a circle and not just one sided letters/pictures from us to bmom. I doubt that if I put an end to texts that communication would continue from that end of the relationship. I think there are several things that I wish I had a chance to think about prior to jumping in but its impossible to know what curve ball will be thrown. All I know is I hit a home run with baby girl (yes I know cheesy).
Baby girl is doing so well its hard be believe we have been home for two weeks. She smiles from ear to ear until the camera comes out. She has begun to coo and "talk" to me. Dont get me wrong I love being a parent from day one but I'm loving this new phase where we get to interact back and forth. DH is starting to get into the swing of things as well. Since i was gone for a month taking care of her while he was home working I got a chance to bond and really "get her." He is sometimes hesitant but I asure him he's doing a good job. She is sleeping 5-6 hrs before getting up for a bottle.