Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Circle of Life and other life lessons

I was greeted this morning by an e-mail from my aunt explaining that my grandmother was placed on hospice. I have known that she has been declining for a while but the news was hard. I have always been close to my grandmother and moving to Vermont has made continuing that relationship challenging to continue as she has declined. Once I got my drivers license I used to drive down to see my grandmother and have dinner with her. I really cherish those dinners alone with her because I was able to get to know her as a person and not just the grandma that took us to the park and zoo. She always insisted on paying for dinner even though each time I really tried to pay because I wanted her to see me as an adult. She often spoke to me about wanting Great-Grandchildren during those visits. I used to joke with my sisters and cousins that there were a few conversations you could count on during the visit- grandchildren, and how she met Grandpa. By the time I married her dementia had set in and she really doesn't have a concept of me being married. When I called to tell her we were adopting her interaction with me was amazing, she asked questions, and was happy for us. She still wanted to know why I had not visited and wasn't sure if I was married but for a few minutes during that conversation I felt like we reconnected again and she was there. My Grandmother already has her first great-grandchild who is now one and another great-grandchild on the way (besides us). Unfortunately she isn't able to experience being a great-grandmother because she is unable to connect my cousin and her relationship.

We also got an e-mail from our social worker regarding a baby. I know I said I would be better at thinking "how did THEY have a baby?!" But this is one of those times when anger does slip in. Now i'm making assumptions (I will admit) however the baby has a brain injury (he was born typically developing) and now parental rights have been terminated. It makes me so angry that someone would hurt a child. There is NEVER an excuse for hurting a baby especially in a state where they could take their healthy baby boy to a police department, hospital, church, or fire department and say "I can't do it." Instead someone hurt this child to the point where a DNR is encouraged by the MD. Tragic.

Tears were flowing today.

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