Saturday, April 10, 2010

Trying to Adopt (TTA)

This blog is in part a response to the lack of quality information on the internet and in bookstores about adoption but also as a tribute to our future son/daughter. I am sad to miss the first kicks and hiccups inside. I'm not going to have the same pregnancy stories as my childs peers. Rather our journey will be one of paper work, and waiting. I will have years to bond while my childs biological mother will only have 9 months. This is a journey in which my life and the life of a women I don't know yet will intertwine forever over the love of a child.

Our journey to begin the adoption process is one that was expected yet unexpected. Dear husband (DH) and I had planned to have a child biologically and adopt and subsequent children. When medical complications put an end to our trying to conceive (TTC) I was happy to put an end to the monthly waiting only to be disappointed. I think I was most saddened by missing out on the first 9 months of my child's life. I was sad that I would never be able to commiserate with another women about the joys/burdens of pregnancy/child birth. I wont have stories for my child about how they somersaulted inside my tummy.

I also have come to the realization that DH is an equal player in our TTA. There will be no late night demands for ice cream. I can change the litter box now. We both will equally get a hand in painting/prepping a nursery. This is strikingly odd that I am concerned with this as I'm a self described feminist; however at the root of it there is a piece of my feminist self lost here. Pregnancy is the one thing women can do that men cannot no matter how hard they try. Although this fact still remains true in being unable to conceive, pregnancy is now something else I have in common with men.

Through this blog I hope to document the journey. I want to be able to share with other women my joys and sorrows through this process. I also want to be able to share with my child this journey as well. Although I wont have any funny stories about how they moved so much in my tummy that I thought they may crawl out I will have stories about our journey that will be relevant to their joining our family. I'll have stories about how hard we had to work to get them and I'm sure there will be funny stories during this process- I just can't imagine what they are- yet.

1 comment:

  1. The most wonderful thing you will both have is the fact that neither of you will have more than the other. You will both be able to be with baby and take care of baby and feed baby the exact same amount - no 9 month advantage. ;o)