Here is a copy of the e-mail received on Feb 6 2011 at 2:27 PM from our case manager and made me oh so sad:
Below is the description of a baby that we may be looking for a match for. It is out of the criteria of all of our waiting families. If you read this and think this may be a match for you, please let me know and I will include your albums to be shown to the birthparents.
Thanks a bunch!
Baby Girl was born on 1/*/11 at an estimated 26 weeks gestation. She weighed 1095 grams (2lbs 6.6oz) and measured 37 cm in length at birth. The baby’s head circumference was 26 cm. She was born vaginally and with no pre-natal care. After delivery she was transported to the NICU and placed in an isolette where she is currently being treated. Her physical exam upon delivery was overall normal however her lungs appeared to be somewhat underdeveloped. The birth parents’ rights expire on 2/*/11 and 2/*/11.
Baby Girls birth parents are both 19, her birth mother African American and her birth father Hispanic. They report no alcohol or drug use during pregnancy. They are currently living together and parenting three children and do not feel like they have the resources to parent another child. They are both in agreement about the adoption plan.
The baby’s most recent physical exam on 1/31/11 indicated she is still experiencing a pulmonary insufficiency. This can mean “1. Incomplete closure of the pulmonary valve in the heart, allowing blood to return from the pulmonary artery into the right ventricle. 2. Respiratory insufficiency in which the lungs cannot take in enough oxygen or expel enough carbon dioxide to meet the needs of the body.” I believe in her case it is the latter.
At her exam on 2/1/11 she currently weighs 1500 grams (3lbs 4.9oz), there was still indications of a lung deficiency, there was also a possibility of sepsis that is being treated with antibiotics. She is still in an isolette at this point on room air but is occasionally experiencing apnea, anemia due to prematurity and feeding problems. She will continue intravenous feeds at this point, as she is not yet ready to be bottle fed. She is also on caffeine treatments which stabilizes her heart beat. There have been no signs of brain bleeding that can occur with premature infants.
Our hope is to match her as soon as possible with an adoptive family so they can begin visiting her in the hospital and learning more about her overall health. At this point the birth family is requesting letters and pictures but not annual visits.
It is interesting to read the e-mail now that I am not as emotionally tied up in the situation. So many details slipped past me at that time such as the fact that she was born in January (at the time I couldn't understand why parental rights ran out so quickly). I also saw that she was on room air in the isolate but missed that she had probably was on 02 prior. My heart is still eager for a little one but I realize more so that this little girl was not to be mine.