This past week flew by. When I have lots of things to do and can be productive I am very positive about the situation. When I feel like I have nothing I can do thats when the sadness sets in. I've always been someone that has needed the ability to act, to do something to make my situation change. When I am in a holding pattern waiting for the next interview I feel helpless.
So how did the individual interviews go?
Tuesday- DH's interview. Dont know how it went except that when I spoke with him on the phone he reported that the social worker informed him that we had nothing to worry about and if we wanted to tell people about how we were adopting we didn't have to worry about not being approved. DH has been on evenings these past few weeks and on top of the fact he has an officer he is training in the car with him he never is much of a talker but that has intensified the problem. After my interview we had a chance to chat but i'll get to that after so... basically I went into the interview blind as DH did.
Wednesday- My interview. Went well. I hate to talk about myself. I'm not overly sentimental nor is my family so questions like "what is your fondest memory growing up" was hard to answer. A big portion of the interview was just describing the personalities and my relationships with my parents and sisters. It always seems funny to me that things that I find important others don't necessarily and vice versa. For example she really dwelled on my mothers back injury. Yes it meant more responsibility growing up; however it also had positives- my mother didn't work and was home all through my high school. They obviously asked about drugs, alcohol, etc which were non-issues for me. I think the hardest questions were describing personalities, conflicts, and memories. So my advice to anyone for the future is... become a little sentimental before you go in. Of course after the interview I came up with lots of things (i.e. family traditions- Friday night treat night in which a daughter who's treat night it was got to go out with our father to the store to purchase a treat.) eh well.
After my interview I talked to DH about his interview and learned "what he would change about me is" my back problems, "the hardest thing we have ever gone through" was infertility. I felt like his responses were so much more caring then mine... "what I would change about DH is" the range of his emotional responses (he doesn't get excited, sad, angry- very mono emotional) and "the hardest thing we have ever gone through" was grad school as we lived apart for almost 2 years.
We have a pediatrician. I think we wanted to get a lot from the physician and as always they are a little standoffish when it comes to telling you what disabilities, drugs, etc are "OK." I was a little irritated by his comment regarding that the "adoptive parent preference" sheet is bias towards the adoptive parents. I dont think there is anything wrong with choosing which disabilities/drugs are acceptable or not. Here is why- as adoptive parents we have NO control over what care, nutrition, etc is taken. If I were to carry a child I would have risks for my child being born with a disability however if my tests results showed my baby may have Downs I would have the choice to carry to term or abort. What would I do- I dont know but it would be a choice. I also would not drink, smoke, take drugs, and would eat a healthy diet. These are all factors that increase my chances for a healthy baby. Its not an unfair bais towards the birth parents- its evening the playing field. I do not think its fair to choose gender.
TTC (Trying to Conceive) site
I have been participating in a TTC site since February. This week I ended my posting on the site. Its too hard. Since joining all the ladies that have joined prior to me already have conceived and now those who joined after me are starting to get their positive pregnancy tests. I will have a baby - i'm TTA and am no longer TTC. The ladies have been nothing but supportive in my transition to TTA and have helped me accept the change in course. I wish them all positive pregnancy tests quickly!