If you dont have anything nice to say...

... dont say anything at all.

My moms version of that growing up was unless you are going to help fix the problem don't complain.  In our house you could gripe but you had to be able to fix it.  So I debate....

Am I griping for gripe sake or am I fixing it?

Problem 1- We can't grow a baby...
Solution: Adopt a baby...

but its complicated!!  With adoption there is the ethics of adoption (am I helping or hurting or both).  Is my agency really doing everything they say they are (for the birthparents, the baby, and us)?  Can I get people to understand and support us?  Will my child understand the decision we made and think it was right?  Will the birthmother after parental rights are terminated continue to think it was what was best for her?  At times I think adoption can be just as controversial as abortion and IVF but thats a different post.

Problem 2- I can't just start breast feeding
Solution: Medications...

but its complicated!!  The medications are hormones are hormones exactly what we are trying to avoid consuming in our food/drink?  Will there be long term consequences?  Will people think I'm trying to be like "other mothers"?  (on top of the fact that the doctor just finally called in the scripts so I wont get the medication for another week because the pharmacy has to make the medication- I still dont know how much its going to cost but I'm ready for a BIG #... I'm going to keep myself from going on a rant but really?!  Almost a week later and it only got done because I called!).

Problem 3- The protocol doesn't work if you dont have a due date
Solution: Formula or purchase breast milk from an unknown mom...

but its complicated!  Its recommended babies get colostrum (the first milk which in my case will have hormones) and be breast fed for the first 6 months (my milk wont come in for about a month).  Formula is an option but not my first- its never killed a baby it just is my preference not to use it.  The alternative means trusting another mother.  DH asked how I didn't know if the woman was inducing lactation as well... what medications is she taking... what is her diet like- again I'm putting my trust in another woman I have never met to help my "dream" of motherhood come true.  Maybe I'm just too much of a dreamer and need to settle?

Problem 4- I have no clue as to when baby will arrive
Solution: prepare...

Done that- I'm ready already!  The room looks like a nursery/office but I'm ready to take my stuff out whenever needed.

I feel like with every rant I go on I've at least explored my options... am working towards a solution but in none of these scenarios are the solutions ideal.  How often in life though is the solution truly perfect?  I know baby will arrive and I'll be faced with a new set of problems/solutions.

Thank you all for your kind words on my blog, by phone, or in person.  I wish it wasn't so but it's nice to know I have people who understand.