I was pleasantly surprised by the reactions I got from people on FB as well as via private message and conversation. I've learned that a friend of mine was conceived with donar sperm due to infertility struggles her parents had. I learned a dear friend is presently struggling with infertility. A few friends announced they had no idea that we struggled with infertility and thought we adopted because that was the plan (which it was- just excluding the infertility part). I did expect at least one negative comment- but nothing- I took a big step and I think it was worth it.
Infertility is something that without I wouldnt have Baby Girl as my daughter. Infertility was on my mind daily and some days hourly. The pain it causes does not go away. Like I said before. The baby is not a fix. We still have infertility. Baby Girl has decreased the thoughts of infertility but I don't think they will ever go away.
This weekend was full of reminders of last year. Last year we skipped the awards dinner at DH job because there had just been several births as well as expectant mothers. I couldn't do it. The night of we decided not to go. Every Cinco De Meyo a friend of ours has a party- our mutual friend who struggled with infertility herself had just had her baby and both were at the party. Since her pregnancy she suddenly forgot all those hurtful things women who have never experienced infertility do and it hurt twice as bad because I knew she had felt that same pain but chose to be oblivious to others feelings. Then mothers day is a week away- a holiday I dreaded last year. It makes me sad to think of how sad I was last year but with this sadness lifted I've been able to live again.
Yes, you definitely live again, but the pain never goes away. I think the lack of awareness on the part of others is what kills me the most. When pregnant friends bitch and complain about being pregnant... it's hurtful. I know that everyone struggles with something and you can't tip-toe around because of fear of hurting others, but come on.
ReplyDeleteMother's Day was always a hard one for me, but since becoming a mother, it's not hard at all. I think the more people realize that you're struggling with infertility, the better. Good for you for putting it out there and I'm so glad to hear that you didn't get any negative comments!!